So what do you see here, a shark? A plane? Maybe it's a shark plane!
If you live in the world of Richard Scarry books, as Simon does, shark plane is the correct answer. And thank goodness he likes it, because I'm still learning how to draw just a shark, or just a plane.
Anyway, today is the one year anniversary of my brother's passing. Sounds strange doesn't it? I can't even easily type death, let alone say it aloud. And yet it happened.
As I was drawing this sad shark plane today, it hit me that one of the things I miss most about John was his God-given talent for sketching. He could use the golf pencil and giving envelopes found in the pew of our church, and sketch a perfect likeness of someone in the row ahead of us.
I can create graphics and computer illustrations with the best of them, but actual illustration (without hours of effort), that was always John's thing. And he's no longer here to share that with me, or to teach Simon. And that hurts more than anything.
Rest In Peace John. We miss you.
PS. I'm not posting this for sympathy OR to make my parents cry. Please Mom and Dad, don't cry. I just didn't want the day to pass without acknowledging what I'm thinking.
5 comments:
Joanie, I started several e-mails over the last few days to try to express how I felt. They were to go to the family, just to mark the day somehow. I just couldn't find the right words. You have. Thanks, and there were only a few tears. You were both good kids and very talented, god job you take after your Mom in that regard. Thanks for finding the words.
From the song ending John's service.
We can grieve with hope,
We can say goodbye with hope,
Because we know this is not the end,
And we believe with hope,
We'll see your face once again.
I often wonder how anyone who does not have the hope and assurance of etermal life through Jesus can even face death, let alone get through it.
It is only with God's help that we can go through grief and not only be healed but made stronger than we were before. Peace is found in our relationship to Him.
John is our wonderful precious son. You are our wonderful precious daughter, blessed with Josh, whom we love dearly. Simon is a true miracle and brings so much joy to all our lives.
Yes, John is not here to teach Simon, to have his own children and be the fantastic Dad he would be....
But he is cancer free. At home with God and those who've gone ahead. Living eternally with God.
We know for sure because it all comes down to the choice each make must. Will we accept God's grace and become His child or will we choose to run our own lives. The choice we make dictates where we spend eternity - with or without God. I was priviledged to be there when John prayed and asked Jesus to be his Lord Savior.
Its OK to cry. Its OK to miss him. Its healthy to remember where he is and rely on the God of all peace to bless us even when we don't know why John is no longer with us. He gives peace that passes understanding.
I wish I could be there today to hug you and cry with you...
Lord willing we'll be together soon.
All my love, Mom
I know it's hard but thanks for sharing this with all of us. The best thing is that Simon will know John through you. And even though he drove you crazy sometimes, you'll share the best of John with Simon.
All I can add is AMEN. I thought about calling so many times that day, but was afraid I'd be the one to break down. I still miss him so much. Our children still speak of him often and find much comfort in knowing that we are only apart for a little while.
Auntie B.
Thanks for sharing, glad to know you can share John with Simon. HUGS
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